Post by Xemnas on Mar 13, 2010 4:27:09 GMT -5
Xemnas
“Perhaps it doesn't pay to be too loyal to one's heart.”
Age: Unknown (appears 25 or so, but is much older -- look it's complicated okay)
Family: --
Race: Nobody
Side: Neutral
Job: Superior
Items: His own awesomeness.
Accessories: zebra suit
Personality: Xemnas is freaking awesome and he makes everyone else know about it. He's so mysterious it hurts, and he likes it that way. In addition to having a penchant for long, flowery speeches that bore everyone to tears, he's actually some kind of brilliant scientist, but like Vexen he expends most of his energy in making fun of everyone else and stroking his own ego. This is because he's a total megalomaniac that wants to RULE EVERYTHING (??), and he doesn't actually give a damn about getting a heart because unbeknownst to the rest of the Organization his true plan is expunged due to spoilers.
All that aside, he's a completely emotionless dick who doesn't really bother to engage in the farce of pretending to have emotions, like some of the other members do. Yes, he loves theatrics, and yes, he's obsessed with himself and Real Ultimate Power(TM), but he's not ashamed of being a Nobody or of being devoid of emotions, because he cannot possibly give a damn. As such, he's always calm even when his castle is crumbling around him, measuring misfortune in terms of how long it will set him back, and moving forward regardless. Authority bleeds from his voice and from every movement, and he can silence his followers with a glance. In short, Xemnas is a ridiculous man on a powertrip that will end you and all you love if he doesn't get your complete and total respect.
History: Xemnas used to be this guy named Xehanort who used to be this guy named expunged due to spoilers, who had a pretty awesome life until expunged due to spoilers showed up and ruined everything and expunged due to spoilers his heart. He then expunged due to spoilers and showed up on the doorstep of Ansem the Wise, near death, and was taken in by the wise old scientist and nursed back to health. Afterwards, Xehanort was recognized for the brilliant man he was and joined the ranks of Ansem's apprentices, becoming buddy-buddy with the likes of Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus, and Ienzo. Later they all decide that having a heart sucks and so they have crazy scientist shenanigans to get rid of all their hearts, and then they booted Ansem out of the time-space continuum, and then they became Organization XIII.
Xehanort, who had somewhere along the lines decided he'd take on the name Ansem instead, decided that Ansem was so last season, so he legally changed his name to Xemnas, and had the rest of the Organization change their names too. In losing their hearts, they became Nobodies, and were no longer able to feel emotion. They go on some mad recruiting until the name Organization XIII actually made sense (i.e. they got thirteen members), and then Xemnas decided the moon needed to look like a heart, and thus began the Organization's plans to form Kingdom Hearts. When they recruited Roxas, Xemnas flipped out because they finally have someone that could wield a keyblade, and then rushed off to taunt Sora and act all mysterious about it. He then fought Sora to test his powers, got his ass beat*, and then pretended like he wasn't hurt at all and taunted Sora some more. *Actually, Xemnas is a can of whoop-ass and I could never beat the son of a bitch no matter how hard I tried. Damnit.
So then Xemnas went up to Vexen and was like "Vexen, my man, let's clone Sora a whole bunch and see what happens." So Vexen exploded with scientific joy (not literal joy and not a literal explosion; that came later) and went off to create Xion, who didn't get a throne because she was supposed to merge with Roxas, and because Xemnas kind of expected her to suck anyway. Then he sent Vexen and everyone in the Organization he didn't like (especially Vexen) to Castle Oblivion to get killed in some way or another (insert literal explosion here), but also to do some more experiments with memory with the help of Naminé. Well Naminé decided to be a bitch about it so Castle Oblivion went to hell in a handbasket and he never did find expunged for spoilers because Axel slacks off too much. Bastard.
In the meantime Xemnas bossed around everyone else and was kind of a dick, to the point where Roxas eventually went "screw this" and left the Organization, pissing off pretty much everyone else in it (except not really). Shit happened to Xion and Roxas emo'd and learned to dual-wield, and then he beat the crap out of Riku, and then Ansem!Riku beat the crap out of Roxas, and then DiZ made Riku kidnap Roxas so he could play Second Life with him, and then Xemnas got slightly annoyed because none of this was getting him any closer to completing Kingdom Hearts, so he sent Axel to either bring Roxas back by force or kill the dumb shit. Axel failed, just like he failed at Castle Oblivion and pretty much everywhere else, so Xemnas got even more annoyed and went to take it out on Sora by calling him a pussy and getting everyone else in the Organization to laugh at his jokes.
At this point, Xemnas pretty much stopped caring about everything because he's a cocky bastard and was so sure things would go his way that he just kinda kicked back at Never Was while everyone else was out getting mercilessly slaughtered by Sora. He decided to check out the Heartless invasion of Hollow Bastion, where King Mickey and Sora get pissed off at him and he flips them the bird in response. He spent the rest of the game spazzing out over Kingdom Hearts, until Ansem showed up and shot a laser at it, which made Xemnas sad (not really). He then confronted Sora and Riku and everyone else and asked them why they were so mean to him, and they pointed out that he was being a douchebag first, so Xemnas was just kind of like "oh, actually that's kind of a good point," and then attacked Sora with his lightsabers. Sora punched him in the balls, Xemnas said, "ow, that hurts," and then ran up to Kingdom Hearts and yelled "LAGANN IMPACTO!" and pierced the heavens with his drill and became one with Kingdom Hearts. Sora and Riku engaged him in fisticuffs, and despite Xemnas turning into a fortress and then a dragon and then some armored guy (maybe not in that order) and throwing buildings at Sora and then donning a pimp-ass zebra suit and fighting them with your power combined, Xemnas's pimp hand was not strong enough to defeat the keybearers, and so he faded into Nothingness.
Weapon: Ethereal Blades
Ability: -Lasers
-Giant energy ball of pure rape
-Lightsabers
-Summoning Nobodies
-Zebra suit
-Merging with Kingdom Hearts
-Draining energy from a target
-Bombastic speech
-Nothingness Incarnate
-Making everyone else his bitch
Magic: Nothing.
Crushes: Everything.